The Punisher

Brad: Over the course of this project, we’ve come across more than a few superhero games that did a pretty rotten job of recreating our favorite superheroes.  There’s been Superman games where the man of steel got hurt every time someone walked into him, far too many Spiderman games where you couldn’t climb walls, and even one version of Wolverine who’s primary method of attack was to kick people in the balls.  The was also a Tick game that was painfully unfunny, though to be honest I thought that was pretty true to the source material.  Nevertheless, the Genesis’ track record with “superhero accuracy” hasn’t been too good.

Punisher’s pickup lines leave a bit to be desired.

The Punisher goes a long way toward reversing this trend, as it is probably one of the most accurate portrayals of a comic book character seen in a 16-bit game.  Before we get too carried away though, let’s keep in mind that the Punisher doesn’t have any extraordinary “superpowers” and that his main attributes are shooting stuff, punching stuff, and dressing like he buys all his clothes from bootleggers in the parking lot of Misfits concerts.  This isn’t exactly unexplored territory for video games.  Let’s face it, you could take a character from just about any action game on the system, throw a skull shirt on him, and have yourself a pretty accurate version of the Punisher.

So yeah, this game does a nice job of recreating the Punisher.  And I know how to boil corn.  In terms of difficult achievements, they’re about equal.

Stryker: Like so many things that combine awesomeness with violence, the Punisher gets started in a bar, where thugs just start attacking him.  The game never bothers to explain this, so I’m inclined to think the fight started for no reason at all.  That’s not so hard to believe, though.  “No reason” is the fourth most common reason bar for why fights start, right behind looking at somebody else’s woman, declaring that the local sports team sucks, or proclaiming one’s appreciation of Jeff Gordon.

Underground poppy fields?  That totally makes sense.

Mr. Do!: Sorry, but I stopped taking this game seriously the first time a street thug attacked me with a fucking battle axe.

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