In honor of it being the 12th, here’s a dozen eliminations instead of our usual 10!
Blades of Vengeance – If you’re going to make a game this bad, you may want to keep the word “Vengeance” out of the title. No sense putting ideas into your customer’s heads.
Cross-Fire – I think this picture says it all:
Caliber .50 – Hey I know! Let’s take Ikari Warriors ‘ barely passable concept for a game and add the worst control scheme in history to it!
Tecmo Super NBA – In the Super NBA, your most effective offensive strategy appears to be the “Just shoot it from anywhere and grab the rebound for an easy score” approach.
El Viento – Maybe my Spanish is a little bit rusty, but I don’t remember Viento being the word for “Mediocre”.
Wardner – Do you know why this game never shows up in classic Genesis collections? Because it kind of sucks, that’s why.
Alien Storm – If humans are capable of inflicting Alien Storm on each other, I’m inclined to let the aliens conquer us. Things can only get better.
Atomic Runner – Seems pretty original until you see through the “running” facade and realize this is just another horizontal shooter. This should take about 4 seconds.
Micro Machines – A game that lets you race toy cars over table tops, the kitchen floor, and in the bathtub. You know, because we’d never have a chance to do that in real life.
Mercs – A little tip on pacing for aspiring game designers – once you have the player shoot down a Harrier jet single-handedly with a rifle in the first five minutes of the game, merely blowing up tanks on the second level is going to feel relatively anti-climatic.
Sol-Deace: Nice job making it this far into the project, Sol-Deace! Now make like the FCC and get the fuck out of here.
Columns: A game designed around matching colored blocks shouldn’t be this hard. I don’t know what happened, because I used to be pretty good at this kind of thing back in Kindergarten.