Brad: This was another game that we only had the cartridge for, so everything we know about the its story came from playing it. As far as I can tell, Sir Galahad is on a quest to retrieve miscellaneous items that the other knights carelessly discarded throughout the land. Every level seemed to be a matter of going to one place, grabbing an item, and carrying it to the other side of the level. Generally, I’m not real big on the storylines in video games, but if you expect me to play through a knock-off of Ninja Gaiden with bad level designs and tons of cheap damage, I’m going to need a little more motivation than “Hey, go pick up the junk we left laying around.”
And pick up my prescriptions while you’re out.
Stryker: A popular misconception about the Knights of the Round Table is that they were always off on quests to slay dragons or find the Holy Grail or some shit. That’s just a bunch of made-up nonsense to sell children’s books. The real knights ran around in basketball shorts doing errands for a chick with green hair, usually while being attacked by birds. And the countryside was littered with spikes. Thanks for finally setting the record straight, Galahad.
Ok, so I guess now Galahad is a samurai. Super. At least the dragon looks happy.
Mr. Do!: I took me an hour to get through the first level because I couldn’t figure out that you’re supposed to press the down direction on the control pad to enter the cave. Seriously, who uses the down button for that?