10 Games Eliminated in Brief

No time to waste, let’s go!

Arch Rivals: If you are a 15 year old who doesn’t know how to count – and that’s not a totally unreasonable assumption to make about anyone playing Arch Rivals – putting up a picture of a busty cheerleader after you make a basket probably isn’t the worst way to teach you the concept of two. Also, if you score a three pointer, do they show you the alien hooker from Total Recall with the three boobs?

Skeleton Krew: The whole game looks like ass. I seriously got sick of looking at it after about 10 minutes.

Warpspeed: Is it just me, or are there a lot of asteroids and Dreamcast logos in space?

World Heroes: Finally, a fighting game where you can have Hulk Hogan vs… Hulk Hogan! Is it my birthday already?

James Bond: The Duel: For some reason, the women in this game keep holding their arms up like they’re signaling a touchdown. Perhaps the James Bond Football League, the players all wear tuxes and the refs are women in cocktail dresses.

Toki: Going Ape Spit: Wow.  I don’t even know what to say about this.

Red Zone: I think we should give Red Zone credit for breaking down stereotypes. In most games, you see the huge menacing black guy walking around with the machine gun and the girl with the gigantic boobs firing the T-shirt cannon. It’s nice that this game is willing to challenge our assumptions.

Zany Golf: Hey, I know, let’s get the guy who made The Immortal – one of the hardest, least fair games of all time –  to design a miniature golf game! It’ll be impossible!

Championship Pro-Am: I’m just wondering who would actually sit down and watch what appears to be 4 dump trucks racing each other. The fanbase for a sport like this has to be somewhat limited.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day: For those of you who have always wanted to play as a kid abouit to shot in the back by mall security.

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