MiG 29 Fighter Pilot

Stryker:Jesus Christ, even the games about MiGs are bad.

Brad:Oh yeah, here’s what we wanted.Bored of flight sims starring the F-15 and F-22?Try piloting a heap of flying Russian scrap metal instead.

Stryker:Now you get to play as one of those hapless planes you always use as target practice in other, better sims.You’ll still get blown up, though.Tie Fighter, this ain’t.

Brad:For ultimate realism, they should have but in a feature where ¼ of the time, your plane has a technical malfunction and just explodes mid-flight for no apparent reason.

MiG 29000

Stryker:A little warning light could flash right before that happens – “Warning:Soviet Engineering!”

Brad:Remember a few days ago when we eliminated F-15 Strike Eagle II, and I mentioned that the game would have killed any desire I had to join the Air Force?Well, this game would have killed any desire I would have had to defect to the USSR and join their Air Force.Not that the prospect of flying a MiG wouldn’t have done that anyway.

Stryker:Plus, you know, you’d have to live in the Soviet Union.

Brad:Honestly, I don’t think it would have been that big of an adjustment from living in Buffalo.I mean, I’d be joining the armed forces, so I’d have been living under a harsh militaristic dictatorship either way.Beyond that, it’s pretty similar – economic depression, grim industrial hellscape, brutal endless winters…

Stryker:Ok, I think we should apologize to Russia for that last remark.Saying the entire nation was like one gigantic version of Buffalo…That’s crossing a line.

Brad:Getting back to the game for a second – why does it seem like every single flight sim has pyramids in it?What the hell did Eygpt ever do that everybody wants a piece of them?I mean, sure, if this was a game about the Israeli Air Force, I’d get that.But the Soviets vs. Egypt?Was that a thing back then?Did we just not hear about it because we were focused on our own problems?

Stryker:Maybe Egypt was like the USSR’s equivalent of Utah.Just this mostly empty desert with a few pockets of religious fanatics that they would fly practice missions over.

Brad:Or maybe every programmer of flight sims secretly wants to blow up the pyramids.

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