Prince of Persia

Let me see if I’ve got this straight… Prince of Persia has unresponsive controls, levels that seem to have been designed by someone who hates you personally, and some of the worst music ever recorded. And people consider it one of the greatest games ever made? Seriously? It really shouldn’t be too much to ask that my character jumps when I press the jump button, rather than ignoring my commands and gleefully falling to his death for the millionth time. You can creep up slowly to the edge of pitfalls to line up your jumps properly to avoid this, but since a large part of the gameplay involves timing puzzles that require fast, mistake-free platforming, frustration is guaranteed one way or another.

Prince of Persia000

Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble, but the nonsense about this fundamentally flawed game being some kind of all-time classic needs to end.Today.Prince of Persia sucks.Prince of Persia has always sucked, and it always will suck.It’s a huge flaming pile of shit of a game that came from a reputable developer or famous designer or whatever, so everyone gave it a wide berth and favorable reviews that bordered on being criminally dishonest.I’ve seen lousy platforming games starring cartoon characters nobody cares about that were still better than this.But while those games were given the derision that they deserved, PoP still gets treated like playing it magically makes your waist thinner and your bank account fatter.

“Oh, but Brad,” you say, “Prince of Persia was the inspiration for Tomb Raider.”Yeah, there might be some truth to that.Want to see signs of PoP in Tomb Raider?The next time Lara falls to her death because you didn’t line up a jump just right, and have to backtrack for ten minutes from the last save point – that’s Prince of Persia’s influence.The next time you walk off a cliff because Tomb Raider treats your controller inputs as vague suggestions that can be ignored – PoP again!In fact, pretty much any part of Tomb Raider that isn’t any fun and makes you throw your controller through the TV can probably be credited to Prince of Persia.Nice legacy, huh?

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