Fighting Game Throwdown

Let’s face it, fighting games aren’t exactly a strong genre on the Genesis. Not that that stopped anyone from releasing a ton of them anyway. This week we decided to thin out the herd a bit by having bad fighting games make up 70% of our Wednesday eliminations.

Street SmartSay whatever you want about the importance of “street smarts” over formal education, but I don’t see any terrible fighting games out there called Fancy Degrees and Book Learnin’.

Beast Wrestler This is a game with monsters wrestling WWF-style. If you can’t understand what’s wrong with that idea, try asking the person reading this to you to explain it.

Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story – This is just a guess, but did Bruce Lee beat up the family of the guy who made this game or something?

Best of The Best: Championship KarateMan, I’d hate to see how the second-best of the best turned out.

DJ Boy – I’m told that this is actually a pretty fun beat-’em-up once you get over the fact that everyone is on rollerskates and cheerleaders throw exploding Popsicles at you from passing streetcars, but… well, some things are just easier said than done.

dj-boy000

Time Killers The game’s excessive violence loses quite a bit of its shock value when the graphics all look straight out of a PC game circa 1987.

Clayfighter – This game requires you to have the special 6-Button controller, you know, because people demand a lot of depth from their games about clay snowmen fighting Elvis impersonators.

Primal Rage Free advice for aspiring game programmers: Just because some douchebag in marketing tells you that a fighting about dinosaurs “practically makes itself,” that doesn’t mean you get to go home and eat cake the rest of the week. You still have to put in a little effort.

Zero Tolerance – The title sums up our feelings for generic Doom rip-offs rather accurately.

Jewel Master – Fairly cool magic-combining gimmick is undermined by gameplay that is similar to Altered Beast, except somehow much, much worse.

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