Batman Returns –Completely average in every imaginable way, and so uncreative in its design that we’re having a hard time finding the inspiration to come up with an original way to criticize it.
Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi – The game that taught us that a ninja’s most closely guarded secret is his love of shadow dancing.
Universal Soldier – Since it’s about cloning, this is the one game where having a bunch of enemies that all look exactly alike actually works out in the game’s favor.Too bad nothing else does.
Alien³ – Uncontrollable, incoherent, and a pale imitation of the vastly superior SNES version.
3 Ninjas Kick Back – The path of the true ninja apparently involves a lot more hanging out in caves and running away from boulders than I had originally thought.
Ayrton Senna’s Super Monaco GP II – Easily the best Genesis game ever endorsed by Ayrton Senna.We’re eliminating it anyway.
Aerobiz – Tell you what: if you can come up with a good reason for us to have two business games about the airlines on the list, we’ll let Aerobiz back in.
Funny World & Balloon Boy – You ever wonder just how bad a game has to be to not have gotten a Sega Seal of Quality?Well, here you go.
Exodus – Perhaps the strongest argument ever made in favor of creationism, as evolution would never have allowed for a sequel to Bible Adventures to exist.
Virtual Pinball – At what point did “Be better than CrueBall” turn into an impossibly high standard?