Deadly Moves

Deadly Moves is one of those fighting games that has 8 characters, but like Shaq-Fu and Slaughter Sport (and there’s a fine precedent to be following), forces you to playas the weakest, most ordinary character in the one player mode.I have no idea why some games do this – each character is available in to use in the two-player mode, so its not like they weren’t programmed to be controlled or something.Maybe they just want you to use a specific character because it fits better into the story.You know, because everyone plays fighting games for the story, just like people read Playboy for the articles, and Stryker drinks because he likes the taste.

Anyway, this being a fighting game made in the post-Street Fighter II era, your character gets two special moves.You want to guess what they are?Do I even need to tell you?A fireball and a flying uppercut.Just like every “main” character in every fighting game ever made since Ryu in Street Fighter II.

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Other games at least try to disguise this a little.Maybe changing the fireball to a little earthquake wave, or the uppercut to a flying kick instead.Not our guy!Not only does he openly steal his moves from SF2’s Ryu, but his fireball uses animations that are almost exactly the same, too.And despite the game’s title, these moves deal very little damage to your opponent.We’re pretty sure the game got its title because all your opponents seem to have deadly moves.Either that or because the publisher thought calling the game Tickle Fight! while perhaps more accurate, wasn’t quite as marketable.

Deadly moves has perhaps the saddest roster in fighting game history.Instead of a martial arts tournament, it seems more like the employees at the local grocery store organized a fight club after work.None of them seem to know anything about fighting styles or moves, and they all either look like normal people, or like normal people in cheap Halloween costumes.In the one player mode, you play as Joe. Joe looks exactly like Ryu, except without the headband.Seriously, that’s the only difference – he wears the same clothes and everything.Believe me, Superman put more thought into his Clark Kent disguise than this, and, unlike Joe, he wasn’t infringing on anyone else’s copyrights.

Besides Joe, there’s a guy who thinks he’s a pirate, a glam rocker, the token female character and some other stock fighting game characters.By far my favorite was Warren, an overweight guy with a mullet and handlebar mustache who looks like he’d be more comfortable sweeping floors that participating in a martial arts tournament.Perhaps this is why he also looks sort of bored and depressed – he probably doesn’t really want to be on that raft in the middle of the ocean, caving in your face with his meaty fists.

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Since your character has a distinct power disadvantage compared to most of his opponents, gameplay in Deadly Moves tends to be defensive. You stand in one corner of the screen, wait for the enemy to come to you, then hit them out of mid-air (your enemies are obsessed with jump kicks), and hope they don’t use any special moves (in which case you’re screwed).Attacking your opponents directly will only get you crushed.Actually, sitting back and playing defense will also get you crushed, but it will take a bit longer, and make it feel like maybe you had a chance, even though you never really did.

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