As you know, Wednesday is the day that we knock ten games off the list with a one or two sentence review. This week’s eliminations:
Chiki Chiki Boys: This game’s actually not that bad, but as a general principle, we just can’t give something called “Chiki Chiki Boys” a Seal of Approval.
Adventures of Yogi Bear: Does for the art of game design what Hanna-Barbarra’s low-budget cartoons did for the art of animation.
Death Duel: Usually, when someone says a game does everything wrong, they’re exaggerating; but no, this game actually does manage to do everything wrong.
Formula One: Like Pole Position, except without the awesome fireballs when you crash.
Nigel Mansell’s World Championship: Just like Formula One, except without the pretense of competance.
Ecco Jr.: Displaying a remarkable amount of foresight, the programmers were careful not to include any parts in the game where Ecco literally jumps a shark.
Barbie Super Model: Maybe it’s because she’s based on a doll, but I think Barbie may actually have less than zero frames of animation.
Battle Frenzy: Battle Frenzy was only released in Europe, and never should have made our list in the first place. For what it’s worth though, the game does maintain the same high standards of quality as our proofreading.
James “Buster” Douglas Knockout Boxing: Seems awesome for about 5 minutes, then quickly becomes forgotten… kind of like this one former heavyweight champion…
Battletech: Armored Combat: A mech game that plays just like Desert Strike, which begs the question: Why wouldn’t we just use helicopters?