Well, at least one other publication hates Out of this World as much as we do

There are few feelings as good as having an unpopular opinion, and then finally having someone else agree with you. Kind of reinforces the idea that we’re really not just trolling, but genuinely feel the way we do. Anyway, here’s IGN’s review of Out of This World.

http://www.ign.com/articles/2014/07/11/another-world-20th-anniversary-review

As you might recall, Out of This World was on our list as one of the 10 Worst Genesis Games That you’ve Probably Heard Of. We took some heat for that one.

Skyrim Addiction

Hey there, loyal readers. It was a year ago today that we published our review of Pirates! Gold and completed our Sega Genesis coverage, and then disappeared for 10 months. And unfortunately, we’re once again going on hiatus, though hopefully not for as long. See last time, after 6 years of blogging, I was feeling burned out, and needed some time off to get recharged, think up some new jokes, and actually play the games I was supposed to be talking about.

This time, I’m just addicted to Skyrim.

Seriously, I picked this game up again about a month ago, and I’m on like my tenth new character. I have a problem. It’s literally all I do anymore. Sunday night I went to take out the garbage and realized the door to the condo was still locked… from when I went to bed Friday night. Yeah, it’s that kind of an addiction. I could star in a PSA.

On the plus side, my newest character just adopted Braith, so all I have to do now is find a dog and my grand plan will be complete.

Anyway, I didn’t come back to this site just to abandon it forever after two months, so check back in September or so, and there will probably be some new content by then. Or, I don’t know, add us to one of those services that tells you when websites update. In the meantime, why not vote on what kind of stuff you’d like to see here in the future:

 

Five Games Eliminated by Screenshots (Part June)

Operation Thunderbolt

Operation Thunderbolt (U)000

Brad: It appears that the tough chick from Aliens is shooting down F-16s with an uzi from the deck of a patrol boat. Now think of how much the people who made Operation Thunderbolt must have hated the very concept of fun for something that awesome to get turned into such a boring video game.

Stryker: Hey, remember all those hapless little boats you used to effortlessly blow up in Jungle Strike while they fired back at you ineffectively? This the the video game world’s attempt to teach you empathy.

RPM Racing

RPM Racing (U)001

Brad: Holy shit! If the actual game was even remotely anything like its title screen, there’d be no reason to play any other game ever, for the rest of your life. RPM Racing may have saved the entire game industry by not living up to its potential, but I’m not entirely sure the trade off was worth it.

Stryker: Usually when a game is nothing at all like what its box and title screen suggest, I personally feel a bit cheated. But this is so much worse. This is like all of society got cheated.

 

Pinball Fantasies

Pinball Fantasies (U)001

Brad: I gave myself a high five when I saw that Top Score. I had always been a little unclear on what Diamond Dallas Page’s wrestling persona was supposed to be. I had always guessed “guy who goes to a lot of strip clubs”, but I guess all along it was really supposed to be “guy who’s pretty good at the Clown of Terror pinball machine”.

Stryker: Look, I’m no psychologist, but if this is what a “Pinball Fantasy” looks like to you, you’re a serial killer. Let’s hope the game distracts you enough that you get sloppy and the police catch you before you claim another victim.

 

Road Riot 4WD

Road Riot 4WD (U)(3850)000

Brad: Here’s the track select screen for Road Riot 4WD. Each location is represented by a caricature of someone who symbolizes that area. Las Vegas has Fat Elvis, the Middle East has a sheik, and Ohio is… a hipster? That’s not quite what I envision when I think of Ohio stereotypes, but I guess maybe the ultimate symbol of Ohio – you know, that sticker of Calvin pissing on things – is trademarked, so they couldn’t use it.

Stryker: I’m more curious about what kind of track is being represented by Rick James down the the lower left corner. You know that’s going to be good.

 

Faceball 2000

Faceball 2000 (U)000

Brad: There’s just something so surreal about shooting a giant smiley face named “Shootme” while it just sits there grinning at you. It’s like David Lynch designed a SNES game.

Stryker: Why is there a maze full of smiley faces sitting on the outskirts of town anyway? Are we in a zoo for smileys?

Subpar SNES Soccer Shootout

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from doing this project, it’s never host a World Cup during the 16-bit era, or else you will be flooded with bad soccer games. Here’s eight soccer games for this week’s Eliminations in Brief.

World Cup USA ’94 – Hosting the world’s biggest soccer tournament in what is probably the only country in the entire world that doesn’t like soccer seems like one of those punishments designed to make everyone suffer. Anyway, here’s a game that commemorates that event. Yay?

World Soccer ’94: Road to Glory  – Although they came from different companies, this really looks like somebody took World Cup USA ‘94 and made it a little better. Not good, mind you, just… less bad.

World League Soccer – From the looks of this game, I’m guessing that the countries that made up the World League were still playing their soccer games on Atari:

World League Soccer (U)000

 

Mega Man Soccer – Sorry to disappoint those of you who were genuinely excited to see what Bubble Man and Spark Man can bring to the soccer pitch, but I’m pretty sure Capcom simply made a normal soccer game, realized it was awful, and then just added Mega Man characters to “fix” it.

Super Soccer –  Finally, a sports game where Yugoslavia is one of the teams you can pick! You know, instead of having it be the unplayable boss character, like M. Bison in Street Fighter II.

International Superstar Soccer Deluxe – Computed controlled teammates in this game have a tendency to literally just stand and watch you do everything. So apparently the soccer being played at the international level is a lot closer to what was being displayed in my high school gym classes than I initially realized.

Super Soccer Champ – Fouled guys overreact like crazy, thus making it the most realistic soccer game of all time.

Championship Soccer ’94 – Jeez guys, hasn’t poor 1994 suffered enough damage to it’s reputation yet? Here’s something good that came from 1994, just to balance it out:

Super Goal! 2

For whatever reason, the people who made Super Goal! 2 decided to make it look like the German team was wearing lederhosen:

Super Goal! 2 (U)001

But while that’s sort of amusing, I’m disappointed by the game’s half-ass commitment to clothing stereotypes. They did an ok job depicting the French in blue and white striped shirts, but everyone knows those stripes should be horizontal, not vertical! And where are their little red berets?

Plus, shouldn’t most of the players be smoking?

C’mon Super Goal! 2. It’s like you’re not even trying to be mildly bigoted.

Anyway, more soccer games coming up later this week so, uh, I guess you have that to look forward to.

Clay Fighter 1 and 2

Humor in video games is a tricky thing. Done correctly, it can make a good game even better (see Portal 2), but it rarely works as the main draw. No matter how hilarious, a really funny game that’s otherwise mediocre will still be mediocre (see the genuinely funny but otherwise forgettable Fable 2). Movies and TV shows can be funny and nothing else because they aren’t interactive – I doubt too many people would watch The Daily Show if every joke was unlocked only after completing a battle in a boring fighting game.

Clay Fighter 2 (U)000

“A banana fighting an octopus? The jokes just write themselves… hopefully. Because we didn’t put any jokes in it.”  – Clay Fighter’s lead designer, probably.

And the Clay Fighter games aren’t really that funny, which is kind of a shame, because by the time they came out, the genre was badly overcrowded and ripe for a good parody. Instead, CF is one of those ideas that we all get from time to time, stuff that seems like the funniest thing ever when you first think it (usually around 2am, and possibly while stoned), but once you spend just a little time working on it, it doesn’t take very long to realize it’s actually not nearly as humorous as you thought, and the whole thing should probably be scrapped.

Naturally, Interplay made like 5 of these games.